There is a big list of things I don’t like to buy. Cigarettes are one of the top Mostly because I think of myself as a rebel in the war against cancer. I refuse to buy cancer sticks for people when they ask. That’s not the turd that I want to drop in the corner that Al Gore calls his Internet though.
Buying condoms can be awkward. The first time I did this my brother and his friends sent me to the store on my bike. I was around 10 or 11 years of age. Since then I don’t actually find it that bad as long as I specify that I will indeed be using the on a women. Not that I’m a homophobe, I just don’t want people think I spelunking in the mud caverns of other men. Hell I’ve even bought tampons for a lady friend before. Actually I took delight in the look on the young ladies face when I told her I was experiencing HEAVY FLOW!
The worst and I mean absolute worst… is … toilet paper! When ever I buy ass tissue my face turns twelve shades of red. I mean how can you look a person in the face while buy a product that your gonna wipe your own shit on then toss into a swirling cesspool of water, just to be flushed away like passing strangers that bumped elbows in the cotton candy line! It’s even worse if you buying John Wayne shit paper. You know… rough, tough and takes shit from NO ONE! This is the worst part of shopping for me. Recently I have been weighing the option of a prune smoothie diet and using pine cones instead of T.P.
P.S. As if buying its not bad enough, I had to write a blog about it!
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